In The Future...

In about 25 years, when Rachel goes out on her first date, this is what I imagine things would look like if her "date" brings her home a minute past her 6pm curfew:

Some training we had last week....Ideally suited for boyfriends who aren't clear on the concept of curfews.

Fighting Styles

Our twins are identical but spend a few minutes with them and you'll soon notice a host of differences.  Daniel LOVES to eat.  Nathan eats because he has to.  Daniel is a lefty and prefers to kick balls while Nathan, a righty, prefers to throw them (more on this in a minute).  

And then there's the fighting styles:  Nathan prefers to use hand held weapons of opportunity to attack his opponents while Daniel prefers taking his opponents (like siblings) to the ground with a unique combo style of Sumo wrestling, UFC ground fighting, and the old backup...the bite.

A look back at the past couple weeks puts the two in a dead tie.  Nathan a few bruises to match the knots on Daniel's head.  Nathan has a wicked overhand throw and it's fairly accurate.  He's nailed Daniel a couple times with balls, wooden blocks, etc....from across the room.  I think Daniel's getting paranoid because he'll start crying or dive for cover behind me as soon as he sees Nathan picking something up.  I thought it was funny until I took one in the head.

Air Rachel

Rachel has always enjoyed sports and being active but she never took any interest in the toy basketball hoop we had in the back yard. Today, out of nowhere, she started palming the ball and went airborne with multiple slam dunks.

And one last one of Rachel driving to the hoop over Daniel

Bumps and Bruises

It's been a bad couple weeks for bumps and bruises.  This video shows how quickly a little fun and games turns into a bump on the head.  

In the span on one week, Nathan got bit on the arm (and I'll give you one guess who that culprit was...let's just say that judging by the tiny bite marks left behind you don't have to be a forensic odontologist to figure out the prime suspect).  Then, while at the park, Nathan picked up a little too much speed on the asphalt and ended up face planting when he tripped.  To complete the abused child "look", he took a spill on the stairs had got a nice bruise to match the park bump.  

Dr. Hsiung?

Every time one of the twins gets a bump, scratch, or bruise (which is quite often), Rachel is always the first to say, "Let me see!  Let me see!"  No matter what, she wants to get there first to try her 4 1/2 years old version of advanced first aid.  This involves a few gentle pats on the back along with the obligatory, "Awwww...you'll be ok" (complete with concerned look on her face).  

Yesterday I was laying on the floor with Daniel and Rachel when all of a sudden...WHACK...something or someone smacked my right eye.  I look up (with my remaining good eye) to see Mr. Poker Face holding a toy violin bow.  I'm seeing stars and holding my eye in pain as I hear Rachel "Let me see...let me see...oh, it's ok...you'll be okay.  It's not bleeding or anything...just let me cover your eye with my hand..."  Well thank you Dr. Hsiung...that does absolutely nothing for the pain but it's pretty funny.  Do me a favor and study hard so you can be a doctor and help pay back all the debt your parents are going to accrue from sending all you kids to college.

Child Labor

I get a kick out of comparing Rachel's photos with her brother's photos of the same age.  I came across this one the other day.  Maybe this broom/vacuum thing is genetic?  

Skating

This past weekend we were invited to a friend's birthday party in Palo Alto.  I never knew Palo Alto had an outdoor skating rink.  It was a lot of fun but boy was it hot.  Rachel had a blast and the boys kept wanting to get on the ice.  

Just Hanging Around...

IKEA & Ice Cream

So the other day we wanted to "get away" with the boys (Rachel was at preschool) and it was a little too cold to hit the park and we were tired of going to the same mall all the time. We decided to make a day out of going to the Great Mall and stopped off at IKEA on the way there. We actually made it through there without buying anything except two ice cream cones.
Ice cream cones and IKEA always have a special place in my heart. When Rachel was almost two, we brought her here to run around. Yvonne was waiting in line and Rachel was getting antsy so she suggested getting Rachel an ice cream to keep her busy. At the time, it sounded like a great idea (keep in mind...we were new and relatively inexperienced parents back then).
This photo was taken before all the carnage began. You see, I was soon to learn that two year olds love holding ice cream cones. They also see absolutely no logic in letting you help clean up the cone when melting ice cream is dripping off the cone and their hand. As soon as I tried to help her out, Rachel would have nothing of the sort and pulled back her hand and cone, causing her to smash the ice cream into her cheek. It didn't end there...She then started screaming and waving the cone around. It was a little crazy trying to dodge the ice cream, find napkins, and keep everyone from staring at me like I had no control over this two year old (which was true). Wanting to clean up all the drips on the floor, I set her down, started wiping up, and she took off in a sprint. Here I am chasing this kid all over the place, wiping up ice cream drops off the floor, and finally grabbing her and cleaning her off. When everything was finally cleaned up, Rachel was happy with her ice cream again and Yvonne strolls up (not having seen any of the chaos) and tries to figure out why I look so worn out.

Ah yes...IKEA.

Here's a couple more photos of the boys running around a very empty IKEA on a weekday morning...

Uh oh...

Not exactly the first thing you want to see when you walk into the kitchen.

Turns out big sister Rachel was helping Daniel along with the finer points of washing broccoli. Rachel's actually gotten quite good at washing fruits and vegetables. Just this past weekend we armed her with a real paring knife and she did a great job cutting up fruit for a fruit salad. She walked away with all ten fingers.
Like most kids, ours took an immediate interest in playing with water. We figured we might as well put that interest to work and get some cleaned and prepped vegetables out of it.

Boys Will Be Boys...

Not quite sure I should sanction or encourage this type of activity but I have to admit, it looks like a lot of fun. What could possibly go wrong?

It's interesting to note that each guy's personality comes out in the way they like to jump. Nathan is more of the "stiff-upper-lip-in-the-face-of-danger" type. He's very stoic when he's in uncertain situations but nonetheless plows through courageously. Daniel, on the other hand, is more of the "hey dude, let's see what happens when we jump off this cliff" attitude.

I could sit back and claim ignorance on how or why these guys have this adventurous (or...failure to logically think through consequences) streak but looking back on my own childhood I can see where they get it. When I was a kid I made my own parachute out of computer paper and jumped off my roof (mom...if you're reading this, don't worry...I used extra strong fishing line and reinforced the hole-punched corners with scotch tape). It didn't work well the first time so I tried it again, cutting a small hole in the middle of the "chute" to channel the air more efficiently (come on...it's not like I didn't think this through).

Remember those metal dome shaped playground structures we had as a kid? On a dare, I once slid a wooden plank into one and tried (unsuccessfully) to do a flip in the air and land on my feet. I ended up landing on my head but hey...I turned out okay and only occasionally lose my memory.

Thinking ahead with these guys, I think I've got a rough couple years ahead of me....

Whoa!

Ok, there's obviously no glory in being caught on film riding a PINK scooter but anyway, here's Nathan's first "hang ten" maneuver. His expression is priceless.

Putting the Pieces Together

I wish I had my camera a few minutes earlier. We were passed out on the hallway floor too tired to get up when we heard Daniel screaming. The screaming/crying sounded painful but nothing urgent so we waited a few extra seconds. Daniel comes around the corner, holding his head, still crying and sits in Yvonne's lap. A few seconds later, Mr. Poker Face walks around the corner. For a split second he looks startled that we're in the hallway but he plays it cool and sits down next to Yvonne...holding an orange drumstick. To make matters worse, Nathan's tapping the drumstick in his hand like, "Go ahead Dan Dan...I dare you to tell mom and dad what happened..."

Poor Daniel....Don't feel too sorry for him though. While Nathan prefers to smack people with stuff, Daniel likes to bite. Nathan has been on the receiving end quite a few times...running to us with bite marks on his hand, fingers, etc.

Boys & Girls

Boys and girls are different....they just are. It's one thing to crash into a wall, bump your head, and learn your lesson not to do that again (ie. Rachel). It's another when you repeatedly crash your head into the wall or crash into your twin brother and giggle about it (thus, not learning any lessons about the negative effects of repeated head banging and furthermore, does nothing towards that full-ride scholarship that dad is banking on to put all the kids through college).

Exhibit "A"

Rachel, on the other hand, was a much more careful toddler growing up. She was very daring and would climb everything but she rarely fell because she took a few extra seconds to do simple things like...oh...making sure there was something to step on before walking off a ledge. I'm reminded of that example because just as I write this, I hear a scream and look to see Daniel's feet pointing straight up in the air because he was climbing on the play structure, went over the ledge, and is now stuck in a headstand position. When I go over to check him out he stops crying and giggles like "Hey dad, check me out!"

Even though Rachel loved climbing, playing, and rough-housing, she already exhibited some "girly" habits at an early age. In this video, she's making mom proud by doing some comparison shopping (I should note that this behavior, while promising and sophisticated for a toddler, scares the living daylights out of me because if she keeps this up, it's going to get REALLY expensive in about 10 years).

We'll be back...

On temporary hiatus due to:

1. Lost digital camera (can't have funny blog posts without funny photos)
2. Work is crazy
3. Home is crazy

Gimmie a week or two....

WANTED

NAME: Daniel "Muscles" Hsiung & Nathan "The Brain" Hsiung

HEIGHT: About "knee-high"

WEIGHT: Heavy enough to strain your back

CRIME: Food throwing, hair pulling, and milk pouring

M.O.: Both like to use distraction techniques. Daniel prefers to use the straight forward "muscle" method; crashing through baby gates, flipping over chairs, etc. Nathan prefers more subtle mind games, gaining your trust with a big flashy smile before throwing a handful of noodles across the room. Both were last seen running away from their parents...in opposite directions of course...

Picture People

As previously discussed in this post, it's pretty much impossible to get all three kids to strike that picture perfect pose for the camera. After a few HIGHLY stressful visits to Picture People, Yvonne and I have reset our expectations to...well, nothing. We flat out tell the photographers to just click away and not to wait for that perfect shot where all three kids are smiling. Our rationale is that photos with one kid crying, one kid trying to run away, and one kid sporting a forced-grit-my-teeth-because-they're-making-me smile "look" is way more realistic and a more accurate portrayal of life.

For some reason most of the photographers don't believe us and end up prolonging the torture anyway.

Here's a few photos from our last trip to the mall.

Wish I Had A Video Camera Right Now

So I'm sitting in the boys' room right now waiting for them to take a nap (or at least spend a little "quiet time" resting in their cribs). The morning went relatively well. We went to church and the boys had a good time playing in the church nursery. However, when we got home the meltdown began. Their normal nap was cut short when Daniel woke up screaming about 30 minutes into it. He woke Nathan up and the two have been cranky since. The boys grew out of a second nap awhile back but because of their crankiness (and our exhaustion), we're trying the nap thing one more time.

In the span of the last 15 minutes the following has happened:

• Both boys sitting in their cribs quietly looking at books
• Both lay down and give every indication they are about to sleep
• All is good and I'm about to grab a few minutes of shut-eye myself
• For no apparent reason, Nathan stands up, walks to the end of his crib, and decides now is the best time to demonstrate his belly-flop technique on his mattress (followed by giggles)
  
• Daniel's head darts up, he giggles back, and so begins the belly-flop contest
• It gets quiet for a few minutes as each boy lays down again
  
• Nathan then tries jumping up and down while holding on to the side of the crib. His feet both get stuck when they slide through the vertical crib rails.
• Nathan starts screaming and Daniel joins in (though he doesn't really know why)
• I put my laptop down and pull Nathan out. Seeing that both limbs are still attached, I put him back on the mattress
• It gets quiet again
  
• Nathan now hangs on the crib rail and PURPOSELY sticks his two feet through the rails again and then starts screaming again. I shoot him a look like, "Not this time mister...you're on your own"
  
• Daniel decides to join in and he sticks his feet through the rails and starts screaming
• They do this for three rounds
• It's important to note that they don't cry when they are sitting down in order to get in position to stick their feet out
  
• It's like they sit, scoot forward, stick their feet out, try to make eye contact with me, and then flip the scream switch
  
• The tandem stereo screaming would put a Bose audio system to shame. I should record it and use it to coerce barricaded subjects out of a house...no human would be able to endure this for long. Better yet, I should save the recording for ten years and use it to wake these guys up when they're trying to sleep past 6am every day.
  
• Both lay down again
• Mix in a few rounds of giggles and blowing raspberries...
• ...and now it's quiet

It Was So Easy Back Then...

This is a photo of Rachel when she was 20 months old. The boys are a couple weeks shy of turning 20 months old. Unless they take some miraculous turn in behavior in that time, we can safely draw the conclusion that Rachel was SO MUCH BETTER BEHAVED THAN HER BROTHERS ARE.

There's quite a lot to learn from this photo:

• Rachel is smiling
• The boys may smile for the first minute or two after sitting down to eat but the colony of ants in their pants makes them go nuts after about 5 minutes
• There is a well balanced variety of food on her plate
• Nathan only likes carbs. It can be bread, noodles, rice, oatmeal...just carbs
• Daniel only likes meat...no veggies
• The cup
  
• The straw is intact (and has not been yanked out in order to make the milk flow easier when turned upside down)
  
• The lid wouldn't survive a fall to the ground (but hey, this is the year 2004 and Rachel's parents have absolutely no experience with their only child doing anything remotely rebellious...LIKE THROWING FULL CUPS OF MILK ACROSS THE ROOM!)
• Her shirt is perfectly clean. No milk dribbles...no milk in her hair...no experimenting to see if milk does indeed fall prey to the laws of gravity when the cup is turned upside down (see a pattern?)
• Clean eating area
• The tomatoes have not been used as finger paint
  
• The cheese hasn't been crushed between tiny fingers and tossed overboard
• For some reason the boys feel compelled to "rescue" their food from the confines of their plates and bowls. As soon as the food hits the table in front of them, the spoon or fork comes out and they start scooping/flicking the food out..."Go peas...go carrots....save yourselves!"
  

All I can say is we didn't know how good we had it. I'm sure if you were to ask us back then, we'd say that raising our first child at 20 months was a challenge, how much work it was chasing this SOLO kid around, etc. We'd probably even have the audacity to say we were tired. HA!

Pull!!!

Haven't had a post in awhile...it's been crazy at work. I can't ever think of a time when we've had so many callouts within a two week period. It's getting so bad that Rachel keeps asking me if I have to go back to work every night...

Anyway, shortly after my 24 hour work day we had a chance to take the kids to the park. Here's Nathan practicing for his SWAT physical agility test...