Cotton Candy - Part 2

In case you needed some proof of this post, here's a video clip of Rachel at Disneyland...after cotton candy:

Aaaahhhhhh!!!!!

Some people's cars leak oil. Others leak antifreeze. Ours leaks milk.


Setting: On our way home from Disneyland. Carl's Jr. parking lot in Coalinga. (Coalinga, by the way, is in the middle of nowhere off of Interstate 5....so there was no one near us to hear us scream)

Time: About 5pm. Pulled in to Carl's Jr. to let the kids run around and stretch and grab a bite to eat.

Weather: Starting to rain and getting worse by the minute.

The Incident: As we're getting ready to leave, we hand each kid a cup of milk. We hit the automatic sliding doors on the minivan and Nathan times his throw perfectly. The cup lands just right to be pinched by the door and pop the lid off splashing milk ALL OVER the interior of the car. After a few hundred Carl's Jr. napkins (and getting wet from the rain), we look under the car and it's dripping milk. Unbelievable. I never knew you could spill something on the inside of your car and have it leak out on the underside.

But wait...there's more

We finally clean everything up and are about ready to go when I look at Daniel sitting there happy as a clam, taking a milk shower. Yup, hands raised up high, cup upside down (and empty), and a big smile. He's completely soaked from his shirt to his pants to the car seat. Lovely...just lovely.

By the way, for some less stressful photos of our trip, click here.

Overwhelming the Senses

There are a striking number of similarities between a SWAT dynamic entry and the ability of twin 18 month olds to reap destruction and mayhem upon a hotel room. SWAT operators will usually joke that S.W.A.T. stands for Sit, Wait, and Talk because any call out will typically involve hours of sheer boredom followed by seconds of explosive adrenaline pumping activity. More on this in a second...

We spent most of today on the road making our way south to Anaheim where we plan on spending the week with friends at Disneyland. On the way down Yvonne and I marveled at how well our kids were traveling compared to trips we've taken in the past. I'm sure the kids were bored but the combination of snacks and DVD's to watch really helped keep them busy. By the time we got into Anaheim, everyone was hungry, restless, and tired. We picked up some burgers for dinner and checked in to our hotel.

Now the SWAT part...

When a SWAT team makes an entry into a house, one strategy involves a combination of speed and overwhelming the senses of the occupants inside. This usually involves using flashbangs (which emit temporary blinding light and extremely loud explosions), breaking and raking multiple windows on different sides of the house, and causing various other distractions. If you're inside when this happens, you don't really have time or ability to react other than cowering in the corner.

Well, we got into our room and gave the boys each a cup of milk while we tried to put things away. Before we knew it, everything that could be reached went airborne, drawers were flung open, and milk was going everywhere....all in the span of seconds. It was like time stood still as these guys zipped around the room tearing into everything. Nathan pours a puddle of milk on the carpet so Yvonne snatches him up to get him cleaned. I run for towels and as I turn around, Daniel has his milk cup upside down and looks like he's drawing graffiti on the floor (and himself) as the milk pours out of the straw. As soon as you put one guy down, you see magazines flying, pen and paper getting thrown, etc. Overwhelming indeed.

Sit down for a quiet dinner? No way...

Memories...we're creating family memories!

Bionic Ears

A photo from our road trip down to Anaheim / Disneyland today. Rachel gets the third row and has her "kingdom" setup with books, markers and paper to draw, and snacks. For those of you who know the Honda Odyssey well, the third row is a decent ways back. Add in a DVD with a cartoon going in the background and you normally wouldn't be able to hear what's going on in the front of the car.

Well, I was getting sleepy so I asked Yvonne to pass me a See's candy chocolate lollipop. We knew enough to keep it out of line of sight from the kids but when Yvonne started unwrapping it, we hear, "WHAT'S THAT YOU'RE UNWRAPPING MOMMY??? I WANT A LOLLIPOP...CAN I HAVE A LOLLIPOP?" coming from the back of the van. Funny how, "eat your vegetables" and "hurry up and get dressed" don't seem to elicit the same amount of attention and response...

Meals

My first clue that it would be a rough dinner was when all three kids were screaming their heads off BEFORE the food even hit the table. They all had a blast at a birthday party earlier in the day and I had just woken Rachel up from a deep sleep. The boys took a vote and decided to pass on the nap. Both were plenty tired by the time dinner started.

After Rachel came out of her grogginess (and crankiness to go with it), she actually did great and started munching away at dinner. She normally eats slower than a herd of turtles running through peanut butter but tonight she was hungry and liked the Vietnamese Pho noodle takeout.

The boys lasted about 2 minutes in their highchairs before they wanted out and BOTH wanted me to hold them. It was pretty surreal. Both are at my feet screaming but when I put them on my lap do they calm down? No way. It was like they worked it out together. Now that they were both on dad's lap and closer to weapons on the table, the fight was on. Daniel's got a pair of chopsticks doing his best orchestra composer impersonation while Nathan prefers the empty hand smack-Daniel-on-the-head technique. By now I'm used to this (AND HUNGRY) so I keep eating, carefully navigating the twin force field of flailing arms, chopsticks, utensils, and a food-stained stuffed animal (it doesn't hurt when it hits you but man it does a lot of damage to a bowl of soup).

On the bright side, Yvonne comes home tomorrow (although the fact that either or both parents are at the dinner table doesn't guarantee a peaceful meal). There's a reason why we don't go to restaurants anymore...

Survivor

Yvonne's cousin in LA is having a baby shower this weekend so I thought it would be a great opportunity for her to get her first (well deserved) vacation where she can shop, eat, and read a book without having kids tugging at her legs wanting something. She left this morning and will be back Monday afternoon. Yup...just me and the kids....five days....

You might think I'm either out of my mind or will be stressed out all weekend. Nothing could be further from the truth (well, at least the latter part). You see, I've been fortunate to have had a good amount of tactical, survival, and endurance training so now that I've barricaded myself in my office with a couple bags of chips, a microwave, two frozen lasagnas, and a case of Costco water, I think I'll be fine.

It's kind of a like a scene out of the movie Jurassic Park. Occasionally I'll hear the sights and sounds of the rug rats running back and forth, scratching and sticking their fingers under the door. The one they call "Rachel" seems to be the leader; organizing the other two in strategic raids as they slowly and methodically gain access to more parts of the house. I tried peeking under the door to gain more intelligence but all I can make out is a skirmish line of Disney Princesses, stuffed animals, and gobs of Play-Doh everywhere. From the sounds of it, I think they found the food pantry so I'll just stay cool for a few days and wait for Yvonne to return.


Yvonne: If you're reading this I am totally kidding...really. We're all fine and that new stain remover you got works really great on the carpets, walls, and ceiling too!

A Couple Videos...

The Wagon King (sometimes it pays to be a few minutes older)

Daniel practicing his volleyball skills to take on Uncle Brad

Mr. Poker Face

So this morning I was hanging out with the boys in the family room. Rachel was off at preschool and Yvonne was out on a walk with a friend. After playing with them for a bit I decided to take a break and put on a Sesame Street episode while I checked my email. Nathan was sitting on a mini-couch and Daniel was standing about a foot in front of him, both watching the TV. Nathan was also holding this hammer shaped toy that made funny kazoo noises when you shook it.

I had my back to them when I heard CRACK! I turned around to see Nathan with a blank expression on his face and Daniel looking at me wide-eyed but not saying anything. It didn't look or sound like Nathan used the toy to hit Daniel because I didn't hear that characteristic kazoo sound.

As soon as I turned around to face the monitor...CRACK! There it was again. I turned around and Nathan had the same blank expression but Daniel's eyes were wider and his expression was like, "Did you see that? Do something!!!" However, Daniel wasn't crying and Nathan was just sitting there calmly. Besides, the whole scene didn't look like their typical fights so I was starting to think the sound had to have come from someplace else. I stared at them for a few more seconds but nothing happened so I turned back around.

It should be noted that on a whole, Yvonne and I try not to rush in between our guys when they fight over toys or start screaming at each other. Other people that help us take care of the boys often rush over and give them a different toy or something just to distract them. However, we are more of the mindset that these guys have to figure out how to work things out on their own and need to learn how to share.

As I return to reading my email....CRACK..squeek! I whipped my head around just in time to see Nathan in his follow through swing. Daniel starts screaming his head off and now the fight is on. Poor guy. As I'm breaking up the fight and prying the hammer toy away from Nathan, I can't help but think about his ability to keep a straight poker face during this whole thing.

Playing With Dolls

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before I walk into Rachel's room to see that she has put both brothers in dresses. It's bad enough that the boys think it's funny to wear Rachel's princess tiara while they run around the house.

Well, tonight I can hear Yvonne laughing in Rachel's room when she says, "You gotta see this..." I walk in and Yvonne tells me the boys are playing with Rachel's Dora doll. As a side note, we can't stand Dora. I don't know if it's the whiny voice or what...we just can't stand her. While I'm still trying to take it in, Yvonne tells me not to worry..."Take a closer look." It turns out the boys were playing with a Dora doll AND a MANLY SWAT guy toy (no...I'm not going to call it a SWAT doll). Seems the SWAT toy was "taking care of" Dora and blasting her off the shelf. I don't condone violence but you gotta admit that's pretty funny. Phew...

Here's a close up:

Some Photos...

Nothing quite like splitting a chocolate covered biscotti with your brother...


Rachel has taken up baking with Yvonne. Here she's showing off a couple tree cakes she made.


It's all fun and games until your brother jumps up and launches you off the see-saw.

Cool Wheels

Here are the kids riding three deep in their fancy 2007 Radio Flyer wagon. This thing has flip out seat backs, molded non-abrasive plastic, cup holders, three point seat belts, and wide wheel axles to prevent tipping. I'm sure the automatic seat lifter, DVD entertainment, and GPS systems will be in the 2008 model.

In my day, we rode in rust covered metal wagons that were death traps. If the jagged metal edges didn't get you, you were surely guaranteed to go flying the instant the wagon turned (then again, being towed by someone riding a dirt bike wasn't exactly the safest of practices...) Heck, I don't think helmets were even invented yet.

The next time these kids are riding in the wagon I should kick it over just to build their character a little...show 'em how things were in the 'ol days. Although if I did this on a playground I'm sure they would just bounce off the super-padded ground filled with tanbark that is guaranteed not to give you any splinters. Sheesh...

Did We Get Everyone?

It started out as a joke I would always say when the twins were first born but I think deep down, it's my way of double checking if we really did get all of the kids into the van. By now, if you're a frequent reader of this blog, you know that the kids all have a mind of their own and at times, can be like herding cats. Sunday mornings are usually the craziest because our day starts about an hour earlier as we try to get out the door by 8:00am to get to church.

Fortunately, Yvonne and I work pretty well as a team so these days, what used to take almost two hours can pretty much be done in about 30-45 minutes (getting kids washed up, dressed, and fed). It's crazy at times but as long as all three kids end up in the van it's a success.

By the way, the photo above is from the child mirror installed below our rear view mirror. It's what we see when we drive the kids around.

I grew up in the 80's watching the old Battlestar Galactica sci-fi and every time I look back there I'm reminded of the Cylons (robotic bad guys) because that's EXACTLY how they sat when they were flying their ships (with the ring leader sitting behind and in the middle of the other two).

Control...

Once the kids outnumbered the adults in the Hsiung household, Yvonne and I learned very early on that we could only control so much. This was especially true once the boys started walking. We go to great lengths to make sure none of the kids are in any grave danger but the bottom line is if they split in three directions simultaneously, one will always get away. We can either stress out about it (and still not be able to do much about it) or just hope they don't get into anything really bad or break anything...we opt for the latter.

The nighttime wash up routines can be real crazy (but fun) when it's just Yvonne and I. In general, Yvonne handles the washing while I do the drying and dressing. Rachel always goes last because she's more independent and can often help us corral the boys. The real fun begins when Rachel is in the bath, one guy is getting dried off and dressed, and the other is COMPLETELY FREE to roam around our room while my hands are full.

Tonight, Daniel was all done and dressed while I had Nathan on the changing table getting him dried off. Because of the layout of our room, the shortness of Daniel, and the furniture in there, I only had a partial view of him as he buzzed around the room. With my hands busy and my back to the rest of the room, I subconsciously perk up my ears to hear what Daniel is up to. I hear stuff like my nightstand drawer opening and closing (waiting to hear him shrieking from getting his fingers caught...but that doesn't happen), the sound of my cellphone flipping open and shut, and then more drawers opening and closing. In my peripheral vision rolled up socks are getting thrown around followed by giggles. All this time I might catch a glimpse of him darting back and forth happy as a clam. The next time I see him he's holding my cellphone up to his ear walking around and saying, "Wei? Wei? (the product of having a Mandarin speaking nanny)." He then disappears into the bathroom portion of our room...out of sight.

By now Nathan is done so I put him down and go track down Daniel. Does Nathan follow me into the bathroom? No way. He somehow gets the door open and he's off and running down the hall.

This kind of stuff might have stressed us out at one point in time but not now...not anymore. We actually get a kick out of it now. If you have young kids and feel like trying this sometime, let your kid run around behind you while you're blindfolded and standing in a corner. It's loads of fun.

Cheeeese!!!

Both of the boys have started saying a few words lately. Among them: Ma Ma, Daddy, Jia Jia (sister). Daniel's latest word is Cheeeese! If he sees you pointing a camera at him he will stop whatever he is doing, face you, and show off all eight of his teeth with a huge grin while saying, "CHEEEESE!"

Who Needs a Roomba?

We spent this afternoon taking down the Christmas tree and putting everything away. Unfortunately, the tree left an incredible amount of pine needles everywhere. Every ornament we took off and each strand of lights seemed to shake more needles onto the carpet. When I picked up the tree and brought it outside I left a wake of pine needles through the living room, out the front door, and onto the driveway.

Fortunately, I somehow pulled a Jedi mind trick on Rachel and got her excited with helping me clean up the living room. The amazing part was both boys also wanted to get in on the action. Next thing we knew, Yvonne and I are standing around and all three kids are vacuuming the living room and having a blast. Who needs a Roomba when you have free child labor?

Here's the video clip:

This video is going to haunt the kids as they grow up. If they ever ask, I'll claim that on this day they promised to vacuum for the next 18 years if I would just let them suck up the pine needles.

Uh oh...

As part of our morning routine we get the boys changed and dressed in their rooms in the morning and then bring them down to the family room where they can run around, eat some dry cereal for a snack, and play with their toys. These guys are pretty...well..."regular" if you know what I mean so I can expect some funny facial expressions and grunting within the first hour or two.

Well, this morning Nathan did his business and I promptly got him on the changing table and started dealing with the hazmat situation (wishing I had my gas mask). About 30 seconds into the change, I heard an evil sounding giggle from across the room. I turned in time to see Daniel with a full bag of cereal in one hand and the binder clip (which used to be on the cereal bag) in the other hand. People in severe high stress situations often describe time stopping or slowing down during the critical incident. Well, time stopped for me. I immediately flashed back to an incident a couple weeks back when Daniel grabbed hold of a cereal bag and proceeded to turn it upside down, gleefully watching the cereal balls (Trader Joe's Gorrilla Munch) rolling all over the floor. I'm sure this is what he was also thinking about when our eyes met . I swear he had a Clint Eastwood expression on his face saying, "Well...I got one question for you punk...do you feel lucky? Huh? Well, do ya?"

I didn't want to risk leaving a not-yet-changed Nathan perched on the changing table (not to mention the havoc he could cause with...well, you know) so I started negotiating with my 17-month old child. It wasn't pretty but I think the verbal stalling tactic (pleading, making strange noises, jumping up and down) worked as Daniel stopped in his tracks while I quickly finished up with Nathan. In the end, disaster was averted...this time.

Costco

The nice thing about Costco shopping carts is the fact that they are larger and can fit two kids in the seat portion of the cart. Unfortunately, they don't have some sort of third row seating for Rachel. It's also unfortunate that they're not equipped with DVD rear entertainment systems.

When we shop at Costco with the kids (or anywhere for that matter) it's like preparing for battle. There's a lot of thought, planning, and "on the fly" choices we make to have a successful outing. For example, this photo shows the kids seated nicely in the cart, barely moving and on their best behavior (this is because we're outside and haven't entered the store yet). The minute we flash the Costco card to enter, it's like a cue to the kids to start going nuts. The "wow" factor of the gigantic plasma TV's only keeps their attention for a minute before one of the boys wants to make a break for it and explore and Rachel wants to take a detour for some frozen yogurt. Fortunately, if we can make it to the cheese and bread aisle, there's usually some sort of handout that will keep the kids munching away for a few minutes. However, the decision to take the sample du jour can not be taken lightly as anything you give them to eat can instantly be turned into a projectile. Therefore, volume, staining ability, and level of cleanup difficulty all most be considered. Crackers, bread, or cheese? Great stuff. Clam chowder, spaghetti, or scary looking survival ration goulash? No way.

Another tactic that works well is to turn the shopping cart around and for me to play NASCAR, zooming in and out of the aisles, doing spinouts, and crashing into stuff. However, I've learned that this should only be done when the cart is fairly empty. A loaded down shopping cart with a case of bottled water, 4 gallons of milk, eggs, 3 half gallons of soy-milk, chicken, veggies, and snacks (a typical weekly supply run) handles more like an 18-wheeler than a sports car.

By the time we get in line, the kids are pretty antsy and Yvonne usually has some chocolate covered snack to buy those precious last few minutes to get us to the register. This is also the time we're inevitably asked, "Are those twins?" I'm really tempted to respond "No, this is Costco, everything comes in multiples...we got these guys on aisle 5...right next to the six-pack of screaming banshees."

Off the Deep End...

This is what happens after 15 consecutive months of not getting enough sleep.

Yvonne kept telling me about this high branch in front of a swing at a nearby park. Today we spent some time at the park where she promptly went vertical (...or rather, horizontal) as she proved to me that she could touch the branch with her foot.

I think deep down she was hoping to fall and break a bone so she could get some quiet down time in the hospital.

Tomorrow she wants to show me how it's possible to go fast and high enough to do a complete 360 and wrap the chain around the post.